Nico's Blog
by BBC101
Summary: My ex-girlfriend's therapist said I should do this. Two words: It sucks. Companion piece to "Thalia's Blog".
1. Blog update 1

**Disclamier: Don't own Pjo. **

Hello freaks of nature. My name is Nico Di Angelo. I think I have a middle name. Daddy ( his name is Hades- yes that Hades) said he won't tell me it since it's really embarrassing.

Three main things about my awesome self.

I am a son of Hades ( yes again that Hades)

I am emo/gothic

I cheat on my girlfriends a lot.

Speaking of cheating, I cheated on my ex ( twice) Thalia Grace ( also gothic) so we broke up. Then her therapist ( poor guys traumatized in a hospital now) said he made her do a blogy-thingy and that I should get one. I followed his advice since I was bored. Now I'm talking to you peeps.

WARNING: THE MURDEROUS BLOODTHIRSTY THALIA GRACE IS ON A KILLING SPREE ACROSS THE U.S. IN SEARCH OF MY BLOOD. SHE WILL DECAPITATE ANYONE WHO GETS IN HER WAY! CONSIDERED ARMED AND HIGHLY LIKELY TO KILL ME!

Yep, Thalia wants my black-haired head on a platter. I'm scared. So I'm on the run across the U.S. If any of you are willing to hide me in your closet I'll get you a happy meal. Hide me.

I doubt any of you are willing because of the comments on her blog.

Come on, please?

This is the ghost of Christmas past speaking. You will hide Nico Di Angelo from his ex.

Come on! I'll get you a freakin happy meal!

Now, I am sitting in the play place at a McDonalds somewhere in New Mexico, stuffing nuggets and fries in my face. You be jealous of my bitchin' pad. I'm making the little ones pay at dollar if they want to go down the slide.

I have escaped many times from Thalia and her army of minions. One of those crazy peeps tied me up and threw me in their parent's closet and feed me...DUN DUN DUN...BURGER KING! AHHHHH!

Luckily I escaped. You should have seen the looks in her parents faces! 1:00 in the morning and an extremely sexy emo kid bursts out of their closet! Did I mention they were...Never mind.

And I was not running and screaming no matter what others tell you.

Since Thalia had gained many supporters from her blog I decided to make one and gain my own army of evil minions. THIS IS WAR THALIA!

Wait..is that...?

Oh my Ronald McDonald. ( what! He is totally holy!)

THALIA OH MY GODS! SHE'S HERE! SHE GLARING AT ME FROM THE LINE! SHE'S MAKING HER WAY TO THE PLAYPLACE! SHADOW TRAVEL TIME!

Emo dude out.

Peace.

FROM A SCARED AS HELL ( BUT STILL SEXY) EMO KID NICO DI ANGELO!

_Wisegirl8756:_

Wow. You really are a player aren't you?

_Re: Wisegirl8756:_

What can I say? I like dem girls.

_SeaweedBrain789:_

Where are you now?

_Re: SeaweedBrain789:_

Can't tell you. She'll come to rip my intestines out. Just saying, I'm NOWHERE near Florida.

_Punkgothlightninglover43:_

See you at 3:00 emo dude. I've got my dagger. He says things to me. Like how he loves the taste of your flesh.

_Re: Punkgothlightninglover43:_

_0_o_


	2. Blog update 2

**Disclamier: I do not own Pjo. **

ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT!

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M SLEEPING IN THE WILDERNESS OF JUSTIN BIEBER'S HOMELAND TRYING TO NOT GET MAULED BY THOSE FREAKNING SCARY BEARS AND MOOSE THINGS AND I WAKE UP AND MY HAIR IS DYED BLOND AND IS IN PIGGY TAILS AND I'M WEARING BALLERINA SHOES AND A PINK FRILLY DRESS! AND MY SKULL RING IS MISSING! HOW DARE YOU WHOEVER DID THIS! I'LL GET YOU NO NAME!

Anyway, I'm sitting here in a cafe in Canada, sipping on a coffee. This stuff is beast man. I slept in the canadian wilderness. I don't recommend it for those with weak hearts and stomachs. Let's just say it involves a lot of grizzly bears growling at you and almost ripping your throat out and eating it for lunch. I had to sacrifice my McDonalds chicken nuggets to appease that ravenous thing. And moose. Don't forget the moose.

I don't care if people say they are cute, they are evil.

_**PURE EVIL. **_

I haven't been to a cemetery in weeks. I love those places, they're hardcore. I know most peeps think they are creepy, but I think they're intresting. Looking at the dates of birth and death. And remember, I'm a son of Hades, a love on cemeteries comes natuarally to me.

I know it's really off topic, but man I really love burritos. I stole one from some old hobo dude in the wilderness. I ran away and he chased me screaming, " GIVE ME BACK MY PET SEAHORSE YOU-" I can't exactly repeat the next part for you kiddies. And really? Pet seahorse? I suspect the old man was on drugs.

A lot of drugs.

Okay. I was just kicked out of the cafe. Apparently I was giving off the wrong "vibe". The hippie waitress practically dragged me out by my ear. So I'm sitting here on the road, being eyed by some hobo. Ew. Creepy

.So, My plan to gain an army of evil minions is off to a start. So, comment on my awesome blog! Comments, death threats, demands for a unicorn! I'll take them all! Oh yeah, somebody NEEDS to hide me from Thalia. I'll hide anywhere! I'm still willing to buy you a happy meal!

Well that's all for now folks-

Wait a second-

That hobo is walking over here.

THAT'S NOT A HOBO! IT'S ONE OF THALIA'S MINIONS!

**PLEASE STAND BY**

OUCH! THAT'S MY-

**PLEASE STAND BY**

FROM A BEATEN UP, SEVERLY BLEEDING NICO DI ANGELO!

_Wisegirl867:_

You okay Nico?

_Re Wisegirl867:_

I'm internally bleeding. What do you think?

_SeaweedBrain789:_

Where'd she punch you?

_Re SeaweedBrain789:_

You don't wanna know...

_SeaweedBrain789:_

Ouch.


	3. Blog update 3

Disclamier: I do not own Pjo.

Sup! Nico here. Yeah, I'm back. And from what I've read, Thalia Grace has started to attack me through her own blog. And I'm just going to point out a few inaccuracies about her insults on me.

She said there were no unicorns, just moose things.

I never joke about unicorns.

_**EVER. **_

Seriously, unicorns are some serious business.

You know, the only reason I

cheated on her was because she was always hanging me from my thumbs. I'm not joking, IT. HURTS.

NOW IN RETALIATION TO THALIAS INSULTS, I WILL SENT THE RAVENOUS COOKIE MONSTER AFTER HER COOKIES!

Wow, that sounded wrong.

But seriously, Thalia should check her pantry for a cookie monster.

I accidentally let it loose.

Even if you are one of my minions and not Thalia's minions, you should seriously start carrying a deadly weapon with you.

AT. ALL. TIMES.

IT. WILL. EAT. YOUR. FLESH.

Oh, and another thing, at least _I _don't threaten you. Like-cough cough-Thalia.

Sorry I must have a cold.

I am now reporting to you from the shores of Japan. I have no idea what these peeps are saying to me. I only know a little Japanese, so when a Japanese man asked me something, I heard this-

" HELLO LITTLE FUDGE PIE, HAVE YOU SMELLED MY PET LAVA LAMP? I THINK IT GOT OUT OF MY APPLE."

I honestly didn't know if he wasan't actually saying that, or if he was some old dude hyped up on Coca-cola.

Remember that burrito I stole from that one hobo in Canada?

Well, It had an unidentifiable meat in it. I didn't realize it until I slowed down to actually look at what I was eating.

I think it was moose thingy meat.

In my defense, I'm on the run.

I'm ( insert swear word) starving.

FROM A ( INSERT SWEAR WORD) HUNGRY, COMPLETELY CONFUSED ABOUT THE JAPANESE LANGUAGE, NICO DI ANGELO!

P.S.

_**COME TO THE DARK SIDE! WE HAVE UNICORNS! **_

_I;HEARTTHE'UNDERWORLD578:_

NICO! HOW DO, I' TYPE: ON THIS WRETCHED TH8ING YOU MORTALS. CALL A LAPPY TOPPY THINGY!1111

_RE: I;HEARTTHE'UNDERWORLD578:_

DAD! YOU GOT A COMPUTER! AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY USING IT! 0_o

_I'HEARTTHE'UNDERWORLD578:_

Yes. Never mind, Persephone showed me how to type.

_Goddessofspringtime123: _

Your welcome darling.

_I;HEARTTHE'UNDERWORLD578:_

Thank you darling! I love you! (kiss kiss)

_Re: Goddessofspringtime123:_

My father and step-mother are are flirting over my blog. I officially hate my life.


	4. Blog update 4

**Disclamier: Don't own pjo. **

What up? Nico here. Since Japan I have traveled to Kenya, Arkansas, and (believe it or not), Australia! A lot kangaroos there.

A. LOT. OF. KANGAROOS.

Right now I am hiding out in a hotel somewhere in central America. I got my emergency happy meal, my fluffy skull-shaped pillow, my black laptop, and my unicorn stuffed toy that I made in a Build-A-Bear in Arkansas. I'm having a blast! Got my rock music blaring as loud as it can go, and painting out my inner feelings on a canvas.

I swear to you it's not a rainbow and sparkles...

Maybe.

Likely.

It has come to my attention that just two days ago was the...horrible thing you mortals call Valentine's day.

Ick.

I mean come on, it's a stupid media made holiday! Well, so is Halloween. But come on, you get to dress up and go door-to-door mugging peeps of their precious candy. In my opinion, that's way better than pink, hearts, chocolates, flowers, and a big guy in a diaper.

Valentines. Day. Sucks. End. Of. Discussion.

Reject valentines!

Together, we can bring Cupid and his pink-ridden minions to a grinding halt on their reign of pure terror.

OK, back to buisness here kiddies. I've escaped Thalia's minions several times. Can you believe she has minions in Australia? Geez. Go figure.

NEWS FLASH: SEVERAL RAVENOUS COOKIE-STARVED COOKIE MONSTER ARE RAMPAGING THE WORLD IN SEARCH OF THE DELICIOUS SNACK. HIDE YOUR CHOCHALTE CHIP COOKIES, YOUR SUGAR COOKIES, YOUR PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES, YOUR M&M COOKIES, YOUR GROCERY-STORE-BRAND-THAT-TASTE-LIKE-POTATOES COOKIES!

Yes, kiddies. Clones of the cookies monster ( yes the ones I created. Shut up it's not my fault they escaped and learned how to reproduce) are in search of your cookies. I advise you have a weapon at all times, prepared to defend your delicious ( and not exactly nutritious, They are junk food) cookies.

I also recommend checking closets, pantries, and even under your bed before you fall asleep.

Seriously.

Your safety is everything to Uncle Nico. Even you Thalia minions need to watch out. Your lives depend on it.

OK, somebody just knocked on the door. Hold up.

WHAT THE-

**PLEASE STAND BY AS NICO GET'S HIS BUTT WHOOPED**

OMG IT'S ONE OF MY COOKIE MONSTERS!

**PLEASE STAND BY AS NICO GETS MAULED**

NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY COOKIES! NOOOOO!

**PLEASE STAND BY AS...OH YOU GET THE POINT. **

FROM A MUGGED, COOKIE-LESS, NICO DI ANGELO.

P.S. DON'T DOUBT THE COOKIE MOSTERS. THEY KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

_SeaweedBrain789_

You okay emo dude?

Nico?

You there?

_PunkGothLightingLover43:_

Killed by his own creation. Dang it, I wanted to be the one to gut the stupid emo.

_Wisegirl8756:_

Oh Thalia. I recommend anger management. A lot of it.

**I, Nico di Angelo, command you to R&R or the cookie monsters will come to get you. **

**They know where you live. **

**0_o**


	5. Blog update 5

**Disclaimer: Don't own pjo. **

Sup? It's Nico, as usual. I know I haven't updated in a few eons or so. But what do I care?

Nico does what he wants, when he wants.

OK, so here;s the gist of my life at the moment.

NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN

The nyan cat. It haunts my nightmares.

That evil pop tart/kitty thingy wasted pratically two years of my awesome life! I swear, I see it everywhere. On the walls. The floors. It chases me through flowery fields in my dreams. It sucks.

I am currently in an McDonalds somewhere in Maine. I raised a dead person and asked if it knew anything about Thalia's plans. No luck. Grrr. The suspense is killing Nico. So, I got my cocoa milkshake and my ipod. Life is good.

Except for the bandages on my face.

That sucks.

And the creepy fangirl in all pink.

Sitting beside me.

Drooling.

Attempting to hold my hand.

This is weird.

Beyond weird.

I officially have my own personal stalker.

(CUSS WORD) MY LIFE.

Now, I'm going to run to the mall across the street in an escape attempt. I'll try to get back to you later.

(runs into middle of street while typing)

NO! WAIT! SLOW DOWN! YEAH YOU IN THE SUV! CAN'T YOU SEE THE EMO KID TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM THE FANGIRLS YOU MOTHER-

**PLEASE STAND BY AS NICO GETS RUN OVER. '**

**MULTIPLE TIMES. **

**BY THE SAME CAR. **

FROM A RUN-OVER, TERRIFIED OF FANGIRLS, NICO DI ANGELO!

_SeaweedBrain789:_

See you at your funeral dude.

**R&R **


	6. Blog update 6

**Disclaimer: Don't own Pjo. **

Nico Di Angelo here, reporting to you from a hospital. I'm pretty banged up.

So here's a little shout-out to the dude in the car.

Warning: slight language used. Little kiddies beware.

DUDE WHAT THE HELL IS WORNG WITH YOU? YOU KNEW I WAS THERE YOU STUPID DUMBASS! AND YET YOU RAN ME OVER! REPEATEDLY! I WILL SEND THE COOKIE MONSTER AFTER YOUR COOKIES! BE AFRAID, VERY AFRAID!

Damn, the nurses here are hot.

Did I just type that?

Great, yeah I did.

So anyway, as I'm laying here, my beautiful body mangled, Thalia is still plotting my demise.

I can't type that much because I'm freaking in pain here.

So, before I update again, go entertain yourselves!

Dear gods, I didn't mean it like that.

Wait. I think that's Thalia in the waiting room.

Oh (cuss word)

I'm just gonna jump out the window now. Wait a second.

OHH MYYY GODDD AHHHHHHHH!

K, done.

Wait, is that a hobo?

Hobo: Nico Di Angelo! Grab my chicken! (holds out a squirming chicken)

Nico: (grabs hold of the chicken)

Hobo: FLYING POWERS ACTIVATE!

Nico and hobo go flying on a rainbow, away from Thalia.

Thalia: NOOOO! DAMN YOU DI ANGELOOO!

_No comments. They're all to busy riding rainbows with hobos. _

**Speaking of riding rainbows with hobos, if you review, you get to ride a rainbow with the one and only me and the hobo! So R&R folks! **


	7. Blog update 7

**Disclaimer: do not own pjo. **

Hi! Nico of the Di Angelo cult here! I've finally got something to freaking blog about! News flash: ( you better be paying attention, this is important) my blog is moving to another place! Yeah! You heard me! My blog is moving to BBC101! It stands for Badass Blog Channel...and one oh one. It's me and Thalia, and a bunch of our other friends blogging! Remember, our friends are from different books you might be ( or not) familiar with. Just letting you know that.

It literally took me and the hobo eight days to fly across the U.S on that rainbow.

My butt is still cramping.

Ouch.

OK, there's a little girl in a pink dress and piggy tails coming up to me. Hang on...

Girl: Can I see your laptop?

Nico: Nooo...

Girl: SCREW YOU! ( kicks Nico in the groin)

OK, I just got beaten up severely by a little girl in frills. Life is not awesome at the moment.

OK, for one I am not feeble. I just felt bad about fighting back when it's a little girl.

I AM NOT FEEBLE.

QUIT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

NOW!

I KNOW YOU ARE!

STOP IT!

Sigh, I have to go now. Rain is coming an I'm in the park where the hobo ( names George by the way) left me.

MESSAGE TO THALIA GRACE: HA! TAKE THAT! ALL THE HOBOS ARE ON MY SIDE! NICO RULES!

Di Angelo. Out.

_COME TO THE DARK SIDE! WE HAVE UNICORNS! AND WE'RE MAGICAL! _

_XD_

_**SeaweedBrain789: **_

_See you at BBC101 dude! _

_**BakeryboywholovesKatniss17:**_

_Hi! I'm Peeta! I'm in love with Katniss! Visit my blog!_

_**Re: BakeryBoywholovesKatniss17:**_

_Already did. You're such a stalker. _

_**SeaweedBrain789: **_

_You really are. 0_o_

**AN: Yes, I'm moving my blog. See ya later! R R! **


	8. Blog update 8

**Disclaimer: don't own pjo.**

Youngest of the Di Angelo clan here. And before we start, here's a little message to Thalia:

HA! WE DISCOVERED THE TRAITOR HOBO AND BRUTALLY EXECUTED HIM! HA! TAKE THAT BITCH!

t

Ok, let's get down to the serious bizz. NO YOU CANNOT HAVE A HOBO IF YOU ARE ON THALIA'S SIDE!

Thalia minions.

The hobo cult shuns you.

Yesterday, I got a report from one of my warrior hobos ( he rides a rainbow unicorn :D) told me that a girl was brutally mauled by a cookie monsters. As you know, I created one. Then they learned how to multiply. Ew. Disturbing thoughts. 0_o

But...

OH DEAR HADES THEY'RE BACK. I. AM. GOING. TO DIE. NOT. THAT ...FANGIRLS.

I have been using a unicorn to spy on Thalia lately. ( ha she can't see the unicorn because she's not awesome enough) :D

But, if you see me Thalia minions, don't shoot. This thing is indestructible. The bullets will literally fly back into you're freaking faces. And then I will say " Warned you." Then I will laugh my ass off. Not gonna lie.

Wait. Why are unicorns called unicorns? It would make much more sense if they were called unihorns...

Excuse me for having ADHD.

FROM A CONFUZZELED ABOUT UNICORNS, NICO DI ANGELO.

P.s. Come to the dark side! We have cookies! And a hobo cult...I mean army! And unicorns!

_TheStolls1234:_

GO UNIHORNS!

_DaughterOfWar:456:_

Damn cookie monsters. Ate my cookies. ARES WILL SEND YOU TO TATARUS FOR THAT!

_Ilovegardeing762:_

They know where you live.


	9. Blog update 9

**Disclamier: Do not own pjo. **

Sup? Me here. A few days ago I went to see the Hunger Games. Cool movie. My favorite part was all the death and murder and death ( really the only part I paid attention to). A couple of Thalia minions kept glaring at me from the row behind me. One dumped popcorn on me. The other took of her hunger games shirt and kept hitting me with it. ( but that was kinda good, because I got a free hunger games shirt, but it was also kinda bad because she went shirtless for the rest of the night... 0_o)

My new shirt has Peeta on it... 0_o

And did anyone else think the whole "watched her going home everyday" thing was a little... I don't know. Stalker much?

Ok. I was just forced into the girl's bathroom at McDonalds. It's hailing outside.

Me- OMGS, TORNADO! SAVE YOURSELVES! RUN! ( runs to man's bathroom)

Cashier- Oh no miss, that's the men's restroom.

Me- WHAT?

Cashier- ( grabs me by my skull tee)

ME- WHAT? I'M NOT A (CUSS WORD)ING GIRL! I'M A BOY! I HAVE A...

Cashier: (throws me into girl's bathroom)

I guess going to the right bathroom still matters in a life-or-death situation.

I need a haircut.

Well. I'm waiting out a tornado in a girl's restroom. I would shadow travel right now if it weren't for the mortals watching my every move. A fangirl keeps grabbing my ass. She wrote our intials on a stall door.

0_o

Yeah, if you see a "N" and a "B" on a stall in a McDonalds, surrounded by a skull/heart thingy, I was there.

On the other hand, a Thalia minion keeps flinging ketchup in my hair.

HOW DO YOU GUYS EVEN RECONGNIZE ME? DO YOU JUST TORUTURE EVERY EMO GUY THAT YOU LAY EYES ON?

I heard Thalia had a new boyfriend.

DUDE RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

SHE WILL HANG YOU BY YOUR THUMBS

SHE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL

AND YOUR FLESH

Good luck man.

OK, I'm moving my blog to BBC101 in a few days. I know I said I would like a month ago, but I couldn't figure out how. But I am now. I'll give you a few days for all of you to read this and know. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU JACKED UP BARNEY LOVERS?

Bye bye for now.

FROM A TORNADO-SURVIVING, MISTAKEN FOR A FEMALE, NICO DI ANGELO!

_SeaweedBrain789:_

I'm watching Bambi! XD

_RE: SeaweedBrain789:_

Nice to know. I'm busy surviving.


	10. Blog Update 10

**Disclaimer: Do not own pjo. **

I'm back, and I think I'm drunk. I stole some unidentifiable liquid from some tall dude in a Starbucks. I'm beginning to think it was alcohol. Guys, I swear I'm tripping. I have to type this fast, before I pass out or go insane... 0_o Dear Hades, help me.

OH [INSERT CUSS WORD] IT'S STARTING !

Why is there nyan cats all over the wall?

Ooooo, sparkly kitty.

Hehe, high high hobos in the sky...

Flying on little plushie ducklings.

HEY! GET OFF OF THOSE DUCKS!

OH NO! POOR DUCKLINGS! NOOOOO!

Hehe, they just died. Down to the underworld they go...

Wait a second, why are there little ballerinas everywhere? They're telling me my name is Nico Di Angelo. No it's not. It's...um...Emily. Yeah. Emily. I'm a little girl playing dollies in her room. They are staring at me like they want to eat my soul. I'm feeding them tea...why are they not drinking the tea?

HOW INSULTING!

I MEAN THEY CAME TO THE TEA PARTY! THEY SHOULD DRINK THE TEA! IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO DRINK TEA, THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE COME TO THE _TEA _PARTY!

Wait...where are the dolls?

Why am I in Thalia's cabin?

OH DEAR HADES NO! NOT HER! NOT HERE! OH [INSERT CUSS WORD]! LET ME OUT! PERCY! ANNABETH! GROVER! SOMEBODY HELP ME! NO, NOT THE SPEAR! NOT THERE! AHHHHHH!

( is gouged with spear in a tender area)

Owww...

FROM A DRUNK AS [INSERT CUSS WORD] EMILY!

_SeaweedBrain789:_

I honestly think there was n more than alcohol in that Nico...

_RE: SeaweedBrain789:_

MY NAME'S NOT NICO! IT'S EMILY, DAMNIT!

_SeaweedBrain789:_

_0_o_


	11. Blog Update 11

**Don't own pjo. **

I am in pain.

You Thalia minions must be jumping with joy. You cruel, sadistic, mother fire-truckers.

Yeah. It's Nico again. I have officially lived another few weeks. Yippee for me. Mortals, I have realized it must be the end of the school year. It has either ended, or is nearing the end. Yeah, your little butts are receiving congratulations for surviving sadistic teachers, and nasty cafeteria food. Or a diploma. Yeah, you get a diploma for that.

And while you guys are graduating another year...

I'M OUT HERE GETTING MY ASS KICKED.

Be grateful your life is not mine.

So, congratulations from the one and only son of Hades, Nico Di Angelo.

So, back to the ass kicking.

Yeah, remember the alcohol I accidentally drank ? Yeah, apparently hangovers last several weeks for demigods. When I woke up, I had a migraine, I was temporarily blind, and my whole body ached.

MY WHOLE BODY.

ALL OF IT.

So, taking advantage of my fragile condition, some Thalia minions kicked my ass.

WAY TO KICK A MAN WHEN HE'S DOWN GUYS!

I don't know where I am.

Seriously.

Well, at least I am not blind.

Anymore.

And I am never going back to Canada. Not until they apologize for Justin Beiber. I swear I have had the new "boyfriend" song in my head for a month.

FROM A HUNGOVER, NOT BLIND ANYMORE, NICO DI ANGELO!

_No comments_


	12. Blog update 12

Casino Manager: GET OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE FILTHY GOD SPAWN!

Nico di Angelo: GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME YOU INFERIOR MORTAL FILTH!

*gets tossed face-first into street *

Well, you may be wondering where I have been lately. You see, to escape the Thalia minions, I evaded them by sneaking into the lotus casino where I partied my butt off. And then I ended up staying there for a while. While Thalia is out there trying to shield her gummy bears from ravenous fans, I have been shooting lasers at other laser tag players. I shot one guy in his junk!

Well, I am not sore anymore, and my bruises have healed. I AM READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD!

*gets run over*

Pain. In the body. Can't move.

My adventures in the lotus casino were beautiful. I got to drink smoothies while being tended to by waitresses in bikinis. Did you know they have a star-shaped pool? I stared at game screens til my eyes were sore. I bungee jumped from my hotel room. I even made a new friend. We discussed many things.

Like what song we would pole-dance to.

Hmm...

Moves Like Jagger. Totally.

Why I got kicked out? Good question. You see, the last time I was here, I raised quite a tab here that even my father couldn't pay off. And on top of that, I spray-painted "Nico rules" on the wall. Bianca got so mad at me for that...

BIANCA! *cries*

(fifteen minutes of sobbing)

Well, now that I'm out of my depression, let's get back to the blog. I have been planning battle strategies against Thalia. All I have so far is...

PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU! *throws at Thalia *

LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE THAT, THALIA!

So minions, any suggestions?

Oh yeah, and I'm gonna start taking questions like Thalia does! I accept questions, comments, demands for happy meals, and death threats!

FROM A POKEMON-TRAINING NICO DI ANGELO!

_Wisegirl8756:_

...Pokemon? Really

_Re: Wisegirl8756:_

Yeah. What else?

_Hammerweilder14:_

Thalia better watch out! PICACHU BE COMING TO BEAT HER ASS! XD

_Re: Hammerweilder14:_

Yeah man. *bro fist*

SPECIAL MESSAGE TO THALIA GRACE: Pikachu is outside your window...watching you sleep...

**Don't own pjo. Geez, why do I always have to put these things in here? Aren't I _apart _of pjo?**


End file.
